Drama..?!

It seems like these days we all like to add a little drama to our lives, well if not all, some, and if not some…hmmm maybe it's just me. People love to see and hear about others problems, but not theirs, and everybody knows that. You wouldn't like it if it was you who they're talking about, would you?;) But, we just love to talk about everything don't we, by we I mean us human, the 'people'. I don't know why; even if I had nothing that could upset me, I'd be crying, don't know what's up with that. Sometimes we just feel like crying for no reason, at least that is what we tell 'others' or even ourselves. No one in his right mind would cry for no reason, there must be a reason, even if it was silly, it's a reason, but we hide it, or we don't want to believe it, so we lie to ourselves. Making our selves and others believe that we're crying 'cause we just 'feel' like it. There is always a reason. And no matter how silly it is, you got to believe it instead of lying to yourself! Huh, I'm saying 'your self' here and there where I should say "instead of lying to MYself". I'm an honest person, I am really. The only thing I hide is my 'feelings', and that's not lying, right? That's just 'hiding'.
Even if I had nothing to be sad about, or depressed, I'd make something. It's like, I'd think really hard to get a thought that depresses me, what a..! =\ Sometimes, I don't feel well, and 'not-in-the-mood' for anyone, well not anyone, there is a friend of mine that I'd always be happy to talk to, and to think of it, I have a great life el7amdlelah, why do I feel this way? That's a question I ask to myself everyday. My answer is….! Blank! I've no answer to give. There are people who my life to them is a DREAM they wish one day would come true, and here I am getting all 'depressed' 'cause of a really silly tiny little problem? That's just…I don't have the word for it. All have told me 'don't let the little things get to you', but what can I really do? How can I not let it get to me? I really don't know.

A crush? Confuses us? Hmmm

P.S: This post is very boring, reading it is not recommended, but if you want to read it, I don't mind. =D :P


Hmmm


I think that (well, I think everyone thinks\knows this :P) every girl who has a crush on someone think that she's madly in love with him, at least that what I think. :$ but we all know it's just a huge crush. It really confuses me sometimes to be honest. xD


A friend told me that love doesn't have an age, or something that like that I don't really remember. x) But I'm sure, that all of the girls who are my age, and think this crush is really LOVE and think that they're IN LOVE, they're not :p It's just a crush, this is tricky. *_*


The perfect guy for me is someone with a great personality, makes me laugh, smart (which means an A student ;) :P) someone with a charming smile, good looking *rolls eyes* and hmmm it's like I'm describing my cousin *rolls eyes again* + he got this serious look when he's really into something (when he's reading or watching TV) I like that look ;p


I LMAO when girls who are actually YOUNGER than me thinks they're in love Ha-ha. Are you kidding me? Love is something deep, as a friend told me long time ago :p it's something magical as I heard ;p I want to experience it, but of course not now, but to be honest I'm afraid of ever falling in love, 'cause, yes it makes me feel wonderful and blablabla, but what if you get hurt?<\3 How will you ever recover?


I really believe that love comes after marriage. I don't understand those girls who talk to guys online :S I don't know why I don't understand them lol. I'm strongly against talking to guys online, the only 'boys' in my list are my 3 brothers and 3 of my cousins, and that's it.


Opposite sex friendship does not exist to me; it's just wrong, way wrong! I don't believe in it. You can see that I'm strongly against it. =D How many times did I say 'I'm strongly against it'? :p Ha-ha.

Life *_*

"Life is tragic, but it's pretty good"

I love this quote so very much, 'cause it's true!


Life is really great; I wonder why people hate it so much. Everybody always complain about life, while I think it's pretty great. Whenever people have a problem, even a tiny one, they HATE their life, I'm not kidding, and I know some people who are like that. Why do they act this way? Are they seeking for attention? Or what? Making a big deal out of nothing. I hate it when people blame life for everything went wrong in theirs. No, I hate when people blame ME for everything wrong happens. -_- Like in our house, if something's broken, who broke it? Guesssss who? They always think it's me. -.- Or anything else happens, like when I used to use the computer, if anything happened to it, then it must be malooka who did it, even if I was not in the house! Once I was at my aunt's house, when I came back, my bro' told me, "Enti elly m5arba el computer la? Msawetloo virus?" -_- I told him I wasn't in the house, but he continued saying that it's my fault why the computer doesn't work. :S


And it's worse with my friends. They blame me for everything that goes wrong in our friendship. It's like everything I do is wrong, 7asha! Then I thought to myself, if everything I do is wrong, then maybe I'm just a bad friend? And yes, I realized that I am actually a very bad friend.


Friends have been a really big issue to me in past few months, 'cause my friends are really great, but no one is perfect, I hate it when they blame me for everything, but I'm not such a great friend, they think that I don't care, but I really do! I guess I'm just too lazy to show it lol.


I'm too lazy to do anything, even if it was for me. Akh, I wish school starts as soon as possible! :"( I miss it! And I don't want to be this lazy anymore! Waiting for September the 26th!

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Jealousy.



I'm a person who gets jealous easily and gets jealous form the silliest things. Not many people know that. I don't get jealous because someone has something that I don't, I always get what I want you know. ;p It's just that I'm always afraid of losing my friends to someone else, so I get jealous when they have new friends. +_+ What a…! I know. It's just that I've lost so many friends in my life time (ha-ha 'in my life time, as if I'm 40 or something =p) and I don’t want to lose anyone else, especially the friends I have now, they're irreplaceable. So whenever my friend starts talking to another person, let's say someone in a freaking forum, I get jealous. You can figure out that I'm very narrow minded. Plus, I have this weird habit. I make up this little story in my head and end up believing it xD and loving or hating people for no freaking reason. This is definitely weird. Let me tell you something, with my friends, I always show the opposite, like if I really do care about them, I show that I don't. And act as if I hate them, but in reality I love them. :p But not all the time 3ad.


I think that I prefer online friends than real life (school) friends. It's just because I don't see online friends face-to-face so I can tell them anything, it's easier. I have a problem with my 'real' friends; I can't look them in the eye. Yup, I can't :S and I SO hate if someone said "A7is" or "I feel" Akh it makes me feel awkward. I immediately change the subject if a friend said those words, that's why if I wasn't feeling well; I only talk to online friends. :p

The Damn Future

I have a problem. I always think TOO much about the future, and it's really tiring! I mean thinking about what will happen in the future, what'll happen next, what if and ma3rf aish… I try as much as I can to stop this, but I apparently cannot. It drives me crazy to be honest. It's so sad that I can't stop. I think about everything. I even thought about getting married and I'm only 14! GAAH! That's actually why I started thinking about 'what's the use of friends' 'cause I started thinking about the future and what'll happen and etc…It makes me sleepless at night. You know when you have someone on your mind and you can't get him\her out of your mind? <3 Well, here we have a different story, I can't get my future out of my mind. xD



Not just my social life, even about school, I'm worrying about thanaweya 3amma mn now!!! 'Cause I'm afraid that I'll disappoint everyone, since everyone expects me to be 'someone' in the future. Talk about pressure! =\ I always imagine I'll be a very successful business woman in the future, and have my own company and all, and I want to build a shelter for cats & dogs. <3


But what if I failed to do all these things? What if I don't do well in school? =\ I'm tired of thinking about all of this, I'm tired of thinking if I'm going to keep in-touch with my friends and be as close as we are now in the future (I SO doubt it) I'm tired of thinking about every single thing in life. I'm only 14 and I think like a 20 year old, and no, I'm not kidding.

Friends?

Well, I've always believed that there is no use of having friends, 'cause what's the point of wasting your time with someone that'll eventually walk away? That'll disappear one day. I asked many of my friends, what's the use of having friends? Every and each one of them said "one day you'll need someone to talk to, someone to have fun with, someone who understands you, someone who'd be there for you no matter what" Well ,I didn't deny that that's true, but even though, those friends wont last 'forever' as they say, someday. One day they'll 'move on'. Now, when I told a friend that they'll 'move on' she said, it's not a love relationship so they 'move on', well I know it's a freaking FRIENDSHIP, what I meant by saying move on is that they'll grow up, they'll start working, get married, have kids, and eventually they'll forget about each other. Once I was in my friend's place, it was three years back, I think, we were very close, when my friend asked her mom, did you have a best friend when you were our age? Her mom answered "Yes". "What happened to her now? Are you still in-touch? Do I know her?" My friend asked. Her mom said, "No, you don't know her, 'cause since I got married, we didn’t see much of each other, we didn't 'hang out' much." Ha-ha. That proves my point. See, I always think, what's the use of having friends if they'll eventually forget about us? When I am close with someone, sister, friend, etc... And I talk to that person everyday, and suddenly stop, I can't handle it. I mean how can I put it :P Like, before my sister got married, I was very close with her. And the first months of her marriage I couldn't sleep, 'cause we used to sleep in one room, I used to cry a lot :p I used to call her everyday, and even sleep in her house on weekends! Until I got used to the fact that she's 'married' now and all. So this all 'what's the use of friends' is just because I'm scared that I'll get hurt if my friends 'move on'. I guess I'm just afraid of losing them, which I cannot possibly handle.

First Post!

Hi? :p

Actually I don’t know what to say ha-ha. Well, this blog has been created out of boredom obviously. I'll write about random things that may bore some people, I'm not forcing you to read :P If you want to read then read, and if not, it's okay :p This blog is like a diary, an online diary HAHA :P

Lee 3awda 0_0